I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
