I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
