She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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