I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You can't just leave with hair like that
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
