i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
