If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
