Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
