Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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