i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Who died my cat blue again?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
