Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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