if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
