he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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