is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
