My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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