did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm always down for nudity.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
