I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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