So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
