Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
3pm strippers are depressing
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
