who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
