But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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