There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
