I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
