its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Randomize
