I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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