I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
