I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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