you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
