Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
