Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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