I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
