And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
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