i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
