i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
