I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
