found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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