therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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