So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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