Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
