You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
