apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
