Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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