I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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