When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
