Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
