i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
