Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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