I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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