did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
