He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
A+ Viking dick
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
