Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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